war tribute.

when did my feelings become a luxury
I could not afford?
I come to the toll booths
of my road-lined heart
with every intention of paying the price.
but the teller shakes its head.
what do you mean I don’t have enough?
I’ve been drowning in enough,
I’ve taken that word
& buried myself with its meaning.
I shake out my pockets, but
no one stores their late nights
in such an accessible place.
I have no solid proof.
I have scars.
but that could be from anything.
whoever taught me how the asphalt burns?
no one but me.
it was my skin scraped on pavement,
my tears when they barely noticed.
I have never been two hands open
& begging. I’m the get up,
I’m the fix it yourself
& don’t you dare
let them see how much this kills you.
so who told me I wasn’t stronger than this?
if I’m bruised it’s because
I fought, I fought like I might die
& like I didn’t want to.
I never wanted to surrender
to this aching.
I am stronger than that. I will not
let you make me weak.

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4 thoughts on “war tribute.

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